If you’re in your 30s, it’s probably safe to say that dating is a lot different than it was in your 20s.
For many people, their 30s are the time they start to feel a sense of urgency about finding someone to settle down with. This can lead to panic over a biological clock and the temptation to settle for a less-than-ideal partner.
Know Yourself
During your 20s, dating was about the feel-good chemicals and fun. If red flags showed up, you might have figured that they’d eventually go away or weren’t as important as the chemistry.
But once you hit your 30s, that doesn’t mean that you need to settle. You should have the wisdom to recognize when someone isn’t right for you and the strength to walk away from them—even if it’s hard.
Moreover, since you’re more likely to be well-established financially in your 30s, you won’t have to compromise fundamental things that make you happy. Balancing and prioritizing your various values will be a continuous process throughout your life, but you shouldn’t be forced to change who you are to accommodate a new partner or relationship. Ultimately, the only thing that matters is that you’re happy. And the best way to achieve happiness is to know your own worth. This will allow you to avoid the people who drain your energy and love.
Be Honest
Many people think of honesty as “not lying,” but it’s more than that. Honesty is about speaking and acting truthfully. For example, if you break something and your mom asks who broke it, you must admit to breaking the table rather than making up a story. It’s also not honest to spread rumors, even if you don’t believe they’re true.
In your 30s, you likely have more experience with the ups and downs of life. You know that not all relationships last forever and that it’s better to get out of a relationship as soon as you realize it’s dead-end than to drag it on for too long.
You’re also more aware of the things that are important to you, and you probably have a better sense of how to balance and prioritize your different values. This can help you avoid sacrificing fundamental things that make you happy in order to find a relationship or achieve success.
Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
If you have a tendency to say yes, but end up not having the time or energy to follow through on your promises, it may be time to set some boundaries. Being able to say no is a sign of strength, self-respect and maturity. It can also be a huge confidence booster.
Saying no can be hard if it’s something you don’t feel comfortable doing, especially if you know the person asking you. However, it’s essential to remember that people will understand if you tell them your reasons.
You can explain that you don’t want to do it, you are busy or that you have other priorities. Be honest, a lie will backfire in the long run. Also, if you do decide to say no, don’t make excuses or rely on “later”. That will only confuse the person who asked you in the first place. They may think that you don’t value their request. This could affect the relationship in the long run.
Be Flexible
Being flexible and open to new experiences are important qualities that can help you progress at work and support the growth of an organization. Being flexible doesn’t have to mean taking on a huge challenge, it can be as simple as trialing ideas knowing that if they don’t work out nothing has been lost.
To be flexible it’s important to learn new things, both hard and soft skills. Having a diverse skill set means that you will be better equipped to deal with sudden requirements and will have the tools to adapt. Being resilient and optimistic can also help you cope with change, despite the fact that it’s not always easy.
When you are able to accept that things might not go according to plan, you can be more adaptable in your approach to work. Being flexible can be a huge benefit to your career and can help you avoid burnout.